In a valiant effort to vanquish the devilish “Projects Board,” WPRB embarked on a vicious quest for victory in Dillon Gym for Princeton University’s dodgeball tournament.

It was a bloodbath. At the sound of the first whistle, WPRB-ers rushed towards the centerline to acquire all the dodgeballs. The Projects Board, however, had the same idea, and they too rushed to the center with a slightly more aggressive and naturally quicker gait. WPRB would not let this minor problem of having fewer balls get it down. With a fair number of strong lasses and lads and a couple of balls, we began to catapult the enemy. The enemy responded in turn, hitting innocent yet strong WPRB staff members out to the sidelines. Fortunately, WPRB-ers had a variety of strategies. Some went right in for the kill, attempting to hit the large, overly muscular members of the Projects Board with the utmost power. Others hid behind their teammates, just waiting for the moment to throw their victory throw.

Esteemed Music Director Devika Balachandran employed this second method until she was the last member standing. She dipped, she dived, she dodged, just not as aggressively as one might hope. With the entire Projects Board against her, she did not run. She remained strong in the face of danger and did not collapse on the ground with a heartattack. And as a video of Devika shows, she created a new dance move while she ran around the dodgeball court.

It was a slaughter, but a noble slaughter. The Projects Board was a fierce opponent, and as we knights say against the heat of the foul dragon’s breath, “At least I tried.” (In this badly constructed metaphor the knights are WPRB staff members, and the foul dragon’s breath is the Projects Board.)

(Hit the jump for the more intimate details of our apparel)

Okay, but legit. We should have won.

Reason number one: we had matching outfits. You know those awesome “ghost gal” t-shirts from the membership drive this year? Yeah, we were wearing them and totally looked awesome. The major fault of our apparel, however, probably was that we weren’t wearing any matching spandex.

Reason number two: there were so many of us! Seriously, mad props to all who came out and the random Princetonians who joined our team. To give you the inside scoop, the limit for our team bracket was 20. We had 19, so perfect domination could have happened. Again, though, this might’ve caused a problem: the randos were plotting against us and were probably paid by the Projects Board to ruin our chances.

Reason number three: do I really need another reason? We are WPRB, for goodness sakes. We have really great tastes in music, are really attractive, and have the voices of gods.

 

Unfortunately, I think we underestimated the connection between spinning crunk vinyl and throwing round balls. For example:

 

Does not equal

 

As you can see, one is in fact a sphere. Shoot.

 

Next year, however, I know WPRB will last longer than six minutes (just kidding, five minutes). We have the talent and the spirit. For example, Traffic Director Gerry Veltri said, “I got a couple of them out.”

We just need to remember how to dodge, dip, duck, dive, and dodge. And even if we don’t learn those things, WPRB will always be the team of my heart.

 

 

Here are some really good iPhone pics:

Gerry makes some moves

The evil Projects Board

Devika and Gerry, the last (wo)men standing